Living And Working With A Mental Health Disorder

In the past few weeks my anxiety has been higher than ever before and my self confidence has dropped to and all time low, some days I find it hard just to find the motivation and reason to get out of bed at the weekend, never mind to get up and work for a living.

I did this post so people can see that they're not alone and that they shouldn't suffer in silence because so many people go through it and hopefully can relate to my post.

I've been suffering low mood and generalized anxiety disorder since I was young with occasional spats of OCD. I didn't really understand what I was going through until I was around fifteen years old and honestly just thought my feelings were normal and everybody got them. Some days I could just cry at the drop of a hat or have a huge panic attack for no reason.

People with generalized anxiety know that there isn't always a trigger for an attack but once you have one for days after you can be shaky, nervous, really teary and very sad. It's hard to get yourself back out of that mind-frame especially after a big unexpected attack. I've found the best thing to do is tell the people around you so they know how you feel and can support you a little bit better. I'm lucky to have great colleagues that try understand and let me take a breather if I start to feel a little overwhelmed. I sometimes struggle even going into a shop, ordering my food at McDonald's is stressful for me when I see the queue going down and I haven't decided what I want yet, I panic because I feel like everyone is looking at me or because I haven't got my money ready and silly things like that.

The low mood seriously impacts my self-esteem and even now I'll doubt myself and how good I am at my job, my college work and my looks and it can really take its toll when you let them feelings over power you. I just have to try tell myself to rationalize these thoughts and get on with my life and be the best that I can be and know that I'm not alone.

It's hard to work when you're worried about what people think about you, when getting on a busy bus makes you panic that everyone is judging you but at the same time those that suffer these type of illnesses are those who try so hard to help others, because we don't want anyone to feel the way that we feel.

I feel that its made me compassionate and caring, making someone smile is the best gift to give. So if you ever feel that your mental illness is pulling you back think of all the times you've been motivated because of it. When you tell yourself that you wont let it beat you, or that you'll push through it. Well done because you're already taking the first step to getting past it!

Keep smiling, keep fighting;

Chloe xx

Low Budget Skincare!

New year is the time where everybody is looking for a fresh start from their workouts to their skin care, for the past year I've been using soap and glory's products and I definitely wouldn't ever go back!

Scrub of your life: £7.00 from Boots

Butter yourself: £10 from boots

Scrub of yourself scrub is perfect for exfoliating, I use it as a facial and body scrub and personally works wonders for me. It keeps away flakes off my nose and also works brilliantly on my elbows and chest before I fake tan to avoid patches.

I use butter yourself again on my face and body after a shower which leaves me my skin feeling silky smooth and it smells absolutely lovely, it's one of the things I love about soap and glory products. Even their makeup smells fantastic.

Peaches And Clean: £10 from boots

This cleanser is my favourite so far! It makes you feel so clean and your skin feeling very light and healthy. It easily gets rid of makeup and any other product on your face leaving you feeling fantastic. 

£27 for a new skincare change is fairly cheap but is also very affective and helps me feel my best even when I'm not wearing any makeup. I'd highly recommend to my readers because it looks and feels beautiful! 

If you've used these products I'd love to hear your feedback in the comments! 

Chloe x

What Will Be Will Be

I've been on this planet just over nineteen years, in those nineteen years I've battled so many things, but throughout those battles I have learnt so much. Even if that means losing the battles sometimes. 

Sometimes, things you planned don't always work out and sometimes you have to say goodbye to something to open up a new doorway in your life. I used to be so stubborn and naive but then I learnt quitting and closing the door doesn't always mean you've lost the fight, it simply means you're doing the right thing and creating a new path. 

This year has definitely been a difficult one for me and I've had to walk away from many things that I thought were doorways into my future. But, I know that everything happens for a reason... It happens because life wants you to grow and learn and make a change as a person. It's scary as hell but sometimes you just need to go with the flow and see where the stream takes you. You might go through some dark and nasty places but you'll end up somewhere bright and beautiful.

I'm definitely not at the bright and beautiful place yet but I know that I will be eventually. If dark things hadn't had happened in my life I wouldn't have met my bestest friends or ended up in a job I love.

It gets better, I promise.

Just remember "it might take a year, or it might take a day but what's meant to be will always find its way" 

Chloe xx

Caitlyn Jenner - The Beautiful Soul

Anyone that knows me well knows how welcome I am to people from any walks of life and if they treat me with respect I will treat them with the same.

I'm a really big fan of the Kardashians and when I heard about Bruce/Cait's transition I was shocked, but was excited to hear more about his journey to becoming a woman. Since the news broke of Cait's transition I have seen a cocktail of opinions on social media, some saying how brave she is and others comparing her bravery to that of a soldier. I feel that those are very two different things and cannot be compared as bravery is bravery, whether it be in a job role or in personal life. 

I cannot imagine what she has gone through her whole life. The thought of being trapped in another body that isn't yours and not only that but facing so much attention from the media must have been extremely hard. I have fallen in love with Cait's beautiful soul, her outlook on life and her willing to help and learn more about other people's stories. She doesnt have to make such an effort but she does and it's something to be proud off. 

Caitlyn is currently working within her community to learn about those around her and their trans stories. One lady was refused entry to nursing school despite amazing grades, out of kindness Caitlyn paid for her entrance to school so after years of being turned down she can finally become a nurse. Like many other trans people another lady did sex work to pay for treatment and medication. It's a trap many transgender people fall into and they don't always have happy endings. I think it's so kind of Caitlyn to get to know the stories of those around her so she can learn it isn't as easy for some people as it has been for her. She doesn't have to talk and try make a change, but she does and it's inspiring.

I hope people can learn from her caring, giving ways. That there's more to what meets the eye and that everyone has their own struggles so it's important to always be kind with your words.

Chloe x

Society And It's Impacts On Self Esteem

Growing up in this day and age is hard, there are so many things that affect the way we feel about ourselves and other people. Technology is more popular then ever with 74% of online adults worldwide using social media. That's not including pre-teens/teenagers. 

How does social media affect young adults?

Younger people are easily influenced by celebrities and gaming ect. and are more likely to behave a certain way because of the type of shows they watch or games they play. I personally believe that I am more affected now than I was seven years ago when I didn't have access to social media websites. If one of my favourite celebrities bought a certain lipstick I would probably go out and buy that certain lipstick because they said it was good. 

How does all this impact self-confidence?

Since I started paying more attention to high fashion, following brands online such as Balmain, Chanel and Versace is has made me feel different about my own self image. I am a huge fan of models such as Gigi Hadid, Kendal Jenner, Winnie Harlow and Cara Delevigene. I have become so engrossed in their lives and their looks it has damaged how I feel about my own. I will pick out my own flaws on a daily basis such as, my jawline isn't as defined as theirs, why aren't my cheek bones are high? I'm too short, my legs are long enough and other ridiculous things. I will compare myself to these models so much that it's hard to feel beautiful and I don't feel confident unless I've done my makeup and sculpted my fave a bit more. 

It's scary because this is at 19 years old, I should know better than to do this to myself but I can't help it. What about those even younger than me that have started looking at these things earlier? Girls as young as 12 hating their bodies.

We should embrace our individuality So much more but we're a generation caught up in models, materialistic items and things that don't really matter.

It's heart breaking to know that people end their lives because they don't feel good enough and don't feel like they for in with today's ridiculously high standards and aren't happy with how they look. 

Just remember how beautiful you are.

Butterflies can't see their own wings and yet they're beautiful. You're a butterfly, you cannot see, but you are so beautiful.

Chloe x

The Placebo Effect

During my time working in health care something that has amazed me is something called the placebo effect. For those of you that do not the know what this is, it is when a patient is given a fake injection or medication (the placebo) and then they have an improvement (which is the effect). In 1996 scientists gathered a group of students to test a new painkiller called "travaricaine" which was a brown substance to be painted onto the skin. However the students were not told that this "medicine" only contained iodine, water and thyme oil, none of which are pain killing medicines. Each student painted some of this substance on their finger and they all said they experienced less pain. This is the placebo effect. It has had real psychological results such as bringing down hypertension, heart rates and even helping with depression and anxiety. This is all because a patient believes that when they take a medication it will make them better. Because of their psychological state and the reaction from the brain it helps with their illness.

The patients surroundings and care play a big factor in this. Was the Dr welcoming and friendly? Was the patient in a comfortable surrounding? If the patient is kn an area that they feel comfortable they are more likely to respond to treatment even if it is a placebo.

There is still a big debate whether placebo drugs are an ethical response to somebodies pain/mental health and if a placebo is given, a practitioner must decide whether it is a good idea to take this strategy with a particular patient and whether this may cause more harm than good if the placebo doesn't work and how will the patient respond when they find out they were taking a placebo trial instead of being given working medications. 

If you have any thoughts on the placebo effect add a comment and let me know. Is this a new step for the NHS and future cost effective medicine?

Thanks for reading.

Chloe.

Anabolic Steroid Misuse - The Dangers Of Medicines Abuse

Since we've arrived into the summer months I have seen so many pictures of people on their holiday's, but what has stuck out to me is the pictures of those clearly using anabolic steroids for all the wrong reasons.

Doctors prescribe steroids such as fluoxymesterone to young boys with genetic disorders to up testosterone levels. They are synthetic substances similar to testosterone and promote bone strengthening and muscle growth, although the use of these supplements are useful in cases with those with a medical condition it often has an adverse effect in people that don't need to take them such as;

Men

- A reduce in sperm count

- Enlarge the breasts

- Shrink the testicles 

Women

- Increase body hair

- Make skin rough

- Decrease breast size

- Deepen the voice

The use of anabolic steroids is easily noticed when compared to those with natural muscle toning. The muscle is built up ontop of fat rather than replacing the body fat. Those on steroids are more at risk of heart attacks at a younger age, high blood pressure which can be very dangerous if a patient is due for surgery and liver disease and cancers.

It's effects can be so strong doctors often have to prescribe medications to stop the withdrawal symptoms when somebody is coming off anabolic steroids. If you want to increase your muscle the best way to do it is naturally and safely and take advice from a personal trainer if you're unaware of what you should be doing. 

Make sure those who you know are aware of the risks they are taking when misusing steroids. Substance misuse services can be contacted for help and support alongside of your GP's help.

Remember to stay safe and healthy even though the idea of anabolic steroids can be tempting. 

Chloe

Health Care Assistant,

Aspiring Major Trauma Nurse.