All my life I've been battling a very difficult issue and that issue is self-esteem. My problem is that I have none. Since I can remember I've had troubles with my weight and it's always been something that's effected me physically and a lot emotionally.
Way too much emphasis is put on 'bigger' girls that 'big is beautiful' and that 'boys want curves, not a bone'. They forget that it hurts, why is it that naturally slim is not beautiful? Why can others love their curves yet I can't love my bones? I used to wear TWO pairs of leggings under my tights at school if I wore a skirt because I was so ashamed to let anyone see the shape of my natural figure. I'd get awful comments "ew your wrists are so skinny it's disgusting" and a huge favourite among the bullies was "chicken legs" some of these comments came from my "friends" they thought it was hilarious that they could wrap their thumb and little finger around my wrist and absolutely gross how predominant my bones were in my hips or wrist.
I found it so embarrassing that I wouldn't like to go shopping with my friends because at age thirteen whilst most my friends were in size sixes I was in children's clothes still. I remember the day my stepmum (one of the most amazing, encouraging people in my life) bought me a size six pyjama set and how happy was I when I tried it on and... IT FIT?!
It's becoming more and more often artists in songs are "skinny shaming" and that makes the world think it's okay "I won't be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll" "f**ck them skinny bitches in the club".
People need to realise that jokes or comments about people's weight is never okay. It's something that will scar someone and hurt them for a long time. I will be nineteen in June and I have my confident days but one small remark will haunt me for a long time. It always hurts.
So before you think about making a comment, think about it properly, think about how much you may be hurting that person. I personally want to join the British Army, when I'm laughed at because I look to scrawny to join it hurts my feelings, it knocks me down and I really struggle to get back up.
Keep your heads up though because you're so beautiful no matter what shape you are.
So much love,
Chlo x
