In Honour Of My Best Friend

Nearly two years ago at my boyfriends 18th birthday party I was introduced to Emma, someone who I am lucky enough to now call my best friend...

Emma, my best friend. 

I saw her around school a few times and she doesn't know this but I always thought she was absolutely gorgeous, I knew of her but I didn't really know her. Little did I know she was a close family friend of my future fiancé, who I had no idea even existed at the time. 

Anyway, I wanted to do this post as I feel as though she deserves it, and I feel she needs the confidence boost. She has no idea that I'm writing this. Emma inspires me every single day with her kindness, intelligence and her perseverence with the pain that she goes through on a daily basis. She has Psoriatic Arthiritis in her hand which is a huge problem for her  especially being an English Litereature degree student. 

Emma also has migraines often which are light sensitive, it stops her from doing things that she enjoys doing some daus when the pain is really bad, but it never stops her from being an amazing friend. She volunteers as a scout/cub leader at 38th rossendale scout group. She also got me involved and I'm about to start my training also.

Emma (right) and myself (left).

She never stops helping others and it's so inspiring, she works with the scouts, volunteers as a teaching assistant at our old highschool and helps me and many of her other friends on a daily basis, along with doing her degree! I think it is pretty amazing considering she goes through everything she does. 

So I guess I just wanted to tell the world how amazing she is.

Emma, you're an amazing best friend. You're going to be an amazing maid of honour for me and Harry next year on our wedding day. You're so beautiful, courageous and bright. Someone I hope to become one day. I love you!

Chloe xx

Cosmetic Surgery And Media's Influence

We live in a time where media influences the decisions of most people around the globe, people are becoming famous for having over 50,000 followers on social media and those who are already famous are growing their fan base through Instagram, Twitter and other social networking sites.

Social media is a great invention, people from other sides of the world can communicate and keep track of each others lives, but it also has its bad points, as I have explained in other blog posts. Sites like Instagram are full of 'selfies' and perfect, photo shopped images. These pictures are making men and women all over the world find flaws in their own looks, including myself. Children as young as eleven are growing up unhappy because they don't look like the next Kim Kardashian. Like social media isn't crazy enough, Kim K herself has brought out a book full of her selfies that she has taken over the years. I am eighteen years old, and in the past three/four years of my life I have wanted a nose job, a boob job, jaw fillers and fillers for my cheeks and lips, this has all come about in the recent years since I started using social media, using magazines and watching the world famous 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'

With all these people growing up unsatisfied with their natural beauty, plastic surgery is becoming more of a common option for young men and women. In 2013 in the UK 50,122 cosmetic surgeries took place, a 17% rise from the previous year. People are having their plastic surgeries in other countries to avoid the huge costs but putting themselves at risk, often coming home with bad, infected and life threatening results. 

Yesterday, for the first time I watched a television show called 'botched', A show where two doctors try and help people with "botched" plastic surgery or try to help those who have become addicted to it. On the show there was two women with two very different, situations;

One was a lady who when she was younger was accidentally struck in the nose by her mothers elbow, as a result she broke her nose (which they didn't realise at the time) this caused an overgrowth of scar tissue which causes breathing difficulties. When she was twenty one she had surgery on her nose to correct the breathing issue and the tissue overgrowth, but unfortunately the doctor did a bad job and left her with a nose that was caving in, enlarging her nostrils and giving her pain. The doctors had to take bone from her ribs, and cartilage from her ears to rebuild her nose, this nose job transformed her life, made her happier with her looks and she would be no longer in pain, and no longer have the breathing difficulties.

However, the second case was a lady who was addicted to surgery, she had over ten boob jobs in her life.She also had nose surgeries,lip fillers, her eyes enlarged and many other procedures. She had been through a sex change but went too far and couldn't stop changing her body. Her ideal look being that of a sex doll. This lady wanted a further boob job to correct the issue with her current breasts which had formed after her tenth surgery, called a 'double bubble' where you could see her first boob job on top of her second. She wanted her lips doing again that another doctor had previously refused as she wouldn't be able to close her mouth properly and wanted her nose making smaller, again. The doctors refused to give her another boob job as he said the skin was so thin that if he did another her skin may burst causing a serious and possibly fatal incident. He offered this lady an appointment for therapy as he felt she had a serious mental problem and a constant need to change her body. He was also worried that another doctor would give her what she wanted for the money and not putting her health first.

The first case was a correction reason, to help the patient with her breathing and give her a more positive life, the second was because the patient had a mental issue and longed for the plastic, sex doll look. She had also idolized barbie and unfortunately her obsession went dangerously far.

In some cases plastic surgery is a good thing, for people born with health issues and helps improve their quality of life. Angelina Jolie, the famous actress and icon being an example. She had a double mastectomy in 2013 due to carrying a cancer gene, she wanted to minimize the risks as much as she could. She then had breast implants after her mastectomy back to her breast size. In my opinion this form of plastic surgery is completely justifiable, including people who have surgery due to back pain because of large breasts, nose surgery because of bad breathing and other medical reasons. 

It is important that we bring up the next generations into a world where their natural beauty is accepted and not told to hide it away, I would hate for my little sister to grow up and criticize every bit of herself. Our eyes, nose, lips are features that make us who we are, they make us different. If we all had our nose done like our favorite celebrity, and our lips the same as Kylie Jenner, wouldn't we all look the same? What is a world with no variety? A bleak one.

It is important to embrace your natural beauty, not to change it.

Just remember, you're beautiful,

Love Chloe xx

New beginnings...

So, its been a while. I haven't had any ideas what to blog about recently, it seems as if I have been lacking motivation. 

After a few down in the dumps weeks I have decided a big change is in order. I have decided I need to stop spending my time on social media and getting myself down about what I don't have and focus on what I do. I spend too much of my time envying the Kardashian lifestyle on Instagram instead of being grateful for what I already have.

I need to throw myself into my college work more than before and make sure my work is up to the highest standard. I'm currently studying Advanced Clinical Health Care Support at a level three and working in a General Practice as a trainee Health Care Assistant. It's a job I have a huge passion for and I love caring for people on a daily basis. I hope to become a major trauma nurse in the future, where I will be looking after people with fatal illnesses and injuries. If I want to get into university to study adult nursing I have to show my capability to my college.

I need to focus on my friends and family and my relationship, I'm lucky to have the people around me that I do. I wouldn't be able to get by without my family, my fiancé and my amazing best friend who stands by me through thick and thin.

I'm hoping that this change will give me more time to appreciate my life and become a happier person. I will try and find more time to blog (and come up with ideas) so I can focus my energy on something positive.

Hopefully this will be a journey towards a happier and more fufilling life, and I hope that this will inspire others to do so to!

Love

Chloé x

OCD in film and television.

Being a person that sufferes from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) I find myself getting repeatedly offended by film makers, I was watching a film and somebody was labelled a freak because he was obsessed with washing his hands and would worry about germs, it upset me because I am also overly worried about germs and I always have to wash my hands. It is a compulsion. I will have a sudden need to wash my hands and if I don't it will really bug me. 

Not only did it bother me because I am also a sufferer of this horrible illness but it doesn't just affect people in a way that they physically have to do something. I also struggle mentally, with worry, I somewhat have a need to worry, even if I don't want to me subconscious takes over and makes me panic.

OCD affects my daily life, I get worried about touching door handles, especially those in public toilets, I worry about using other people's pens that aren't mine and I hate people touching my food or going anywhere near my plate. Even someone getting a crisp from my packet is enough to put me off. I often worry about making mistakes or saying the wrong thing as if I do, that will be in my head for months, no lie. That mistake will bother me for so long, I will obsess over it. I avoid going out to places where I won't know most of the people because I'm worried about doing something wrong...

But

That doesn't make me a 'freak' at all. I'm just someone that is unfortunate enough to have a horrible condition which makes me worry a lot. People with OCD have feelings too, it's not nice to make someone feel like they're weird because of a disorder which isn't their fault. The more stigma there is about OCD the harder it is to break. 

If you're suffering, be brave. I'm always here if you need a chat because I know exactly what it's like. Don't listen to those which laugh at your condition, you're strong and you can get through it. 

All my love

Chloe xx

Why we should be more aware of social media

The era in which we live in today means that our generation uses social media accounts to express themselves more freely than they would do in everyday life whilst going to school, college or work. Why? The internet is a place where sometimes only complete strangers can see what we reveal and if we are judged by them it's far easier to fight back from behind a keyboard. For many people, especially shy people like myself the internet is a great place to show how you truly feel without the worry of how people react.

Unfortunately in some cases these blogging websites such as Tumblr can cause more harm than good, influencing people who are easily impacted by things presented to them. A few years ago a dangerous craze started on Tumblr with people reblogging what they called 'thinspiration' where people uploaded pictures of themselves or other extremely, dangerously thin girls to use as inspiration to others. The TV star Gok Wan created a TV series for the teenage generation and one of the episodes was based on a young girl whose self loathing led to anorexia. She created her body image on the photos of the girls she had seen on a blogging website and as a result made herself very ill. Since this outbreak of the 'thinspiration' craze Tumblr has been very careful to monitor the users and ensure they are using the site in an appropriate and healthy way.

I have also seen other sad ways people use the popular blog website, such as uploading violent, graphic and suicidal images. Uploading pictures relating to death, self harm and self loathing. This is something not just tumblr needs to monitor but the people that view these users that reblog and upload this particular kind of content. When people show an increased interest towards death this should be a major warning sign that this person needs help. I understand that sometimes people just want to reblog an image because they like it but in many cases it is a way of self expression and is sometimes even a cry for help.

Being a user of tumblr myself I am always on alert for somebody that uploads dark, or self damaging content. It is important that we see these blog pages as an expression and not just a photo as sometimes we may be able to help somebody who is in deep need of comfort and somebody to talk to. I understand that it is difficult and sometimes seen as quite intrusive, but, you may just save a life.

I will add a link to my own tumblr account if you want to have a look at my expressions,

remember, always be aware.

Lots of love
Chloe xx

http://spoonfulofwishfulthinking.tumblr.com/

Living with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder.

So this is a very personal post that I've been thinking about doing for a while, the thing I was most afraid of was people's reactions to this post and don't want to be labelled as an attention seeker but I thought I would let people know what a life with anxiety is like.

It's difficult having anxiety because your brains fight or flight system is constantly switched on and working double time, even at times when there is absolutely nothing to be anxious or worried about. I have been having minor anxiety attacks since year nine but had my first major one only a few weeks ago. At first I had no idea I was having a panic attack, everything around me went blurry, my heart started beating really fast, I was very shaky, and afterwards I was very very tearful. It took me around forty minutes to calm down after that attack and proceeded to have a lump in my throat for the following five days. Nightmare! 

Unfortunately, I am a very big worrier, this brings on the anxiety and I find it really hard to rationalise things in my head when these worrying thoughts over take my brain. Unfortunately for me, my anxiety comes hand in hand with obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies which makes me then obsess about my worth even further. 

One of the things I struggle with the most is that I get an anxious stomach, it is VERY embarrassing and really quite uncomfortable, basically when I am anxious I get stomach upset. It's distressing because when I'm anxious  my stomach problems will start which leads me to panic even further which obviously makes it all even worse and the vicious cycle continues. I have found sometimes taking a few minutes to sit on my own and breathe slowly and calmly helps, or just let a close by friend know what's going on so they can help me out and calm me down. 

Obsessive compulsive disorder also likes to make me wash my hands a million times a day, I am a giant hypochondriac and worry constantly about germs which leaves me with sore, dry hands. It's really hard sometimes to tell myself to stop being so ridiculous when my worries get the best of me, that I'm going to be just fine.

Another thing I worry about a lot is people's feelings, I often worry that I said something wrong and I upset someone, or that they don't like me and are just pretending to be my friend which is damaging to my own self esteem and relationships with others. 

My doctor tells me that anxiety and ocd isn't always a bad thing, it's made me aware of people's feelings and made me think before I speak. It's made me only speak good. It's made me realise that washing my hands isn't always a bad thing and that I'm being clean! It's hard to see the good side of mental illnesses but it all happened for a reason, and it must be that I am strong enough person to cope.

Just remember "a negative mind will never give you a positive life"

All my love and so much more 

Chloe xx

Why I love working in healthcare

I've done so many posts about the past and my current plans but hardly ever speak about my job and what made me fall in love with working in health care.

I never thought I'd end up working as a health care assistant, EVER. I took a job at a health centre as a receptionist to start of with to pick me up after being down for numerous months and get me back into a routine. A year later my manager asked me if I would like to accept the job of a trainee HCA. Of course I accepted, after many months of pestering.

I love working with people from all walks of life, it's so interesting to work with people with such a big difference in personalities. One day I would love to work in critical care and work with people who are seriously suffering and try and make them feel that little bit better. Every single person I work with has been a huge inspiration, the nursing team I work within are amazing. Everyday I feel so lucky to work with such intelligent people and I feel so blessed.

Working in health care is a wonderful and rewarding thing, seeing somebody smile as they hear good news about their health or even just because you remembered to ask them how their Christmas/New year was, it's a job I would recommend to anybody who loved people and loved to help. 

Huge amount of appreciation to everybody who works in health and social care, without you our world wouldn't be the same! 

Love Chloe x